On transition, instinct, and a glimpse at a work taking shape.
For several years, my practice was shaped by a clear structure: classical training, gallery exhibitions, deadlines, a body of drawings built patiently in graphite. The framework was defined, the direction visible. There was a steady pace to the work, carrying one piece into the next.
Gradually, that framework stopped being sufficient. Not because it failed, but because something in my art began to ask for more space, more risk, more exploration, and a different kind of attention.
After more than a decade abroad I’ve returned to Poland and stepped into a very different rhythm of life and work.
The old signposts are gone. No timetable handed to me. I’m building the path myself, brushstroke by brushstroke, decision by decision. It’s both very exciting and very challenging. I’m learning what it means to take full authorship of my practice in a different medium, and a new chapter of life.
The questions around “how” have shifted toward “what” and “why”.
What do I want to say with the skills I’ve been honing?
What kind of life do I want my art to support?
None of those questions have a final answer yet, but they are shaping my days and the paintings that come from them.
I began from the familiar, a soft place to land. Portraits and still life studies as a way to recalibrate. There’s something grounding in being fully here and now with a subject in front of me. The task ahead is clear. The edges are visible. Attention narrows and the work asks only for presence. After so much change this kind of focus felt essential, returning to first building blocks before moving forward.
So in the first months of this transition, I gave myself one simple goal: show up at the easel every day and paint.
But very quickly the call from the inner landscape became too loud to ignore. I’ve spent years learning the craft, now something deeper is asking for meaningful stories. Technique is a foundation, not a destination. “How” is only the first layer. Now the harder questions arrive: direction, meaning, what wants to be said and why.
Before the mind could decide, the hands moved first.
Coming back home brought me back into close contact with my beginnings: old sketches, curious experiments with different mediums, uneven sculptures and wonky crafts. The beautiful not knowing. That early courage of making without fully understanding. Letting the hands to discover along the way and simply enjoy the process, trusting it to lead somewhere.
That exact feeling returned while I was shaping my first maquette as a reference for an upcoming painting. My hands were reaching instinctively for whatever was nearby – pieces of cardboar, wire, clay – and I followed. It felt expanding and like moving in the right direction.
I don’t want to reveal too much about this project yet. It’s one of those that needs time to unfold and take its final shape. I’ll share with you more as it advances, but for now I want to show you the turns it has taken.
The maquette helps me to visualise the environment and atmosphere surrounding a character that has lived in my journals for a long time. The breakthrough came when I started playing with light and seeing the structure through the lens of the camera (thank you Steve Chmilar for all the tips and generous insights from your own work).
Each change of perspective – angle, distance, crop – revealed a different story. And light… oh the light! It’s where the atmosphere lives. After many experiments, photo sessions, editions and revisions, there was a moment when everything clicked. I could finally feel the world of the piece and the mood I’ve been searching for.
A lot will change in the final painting, the idea isn’t to copy the photograph, but to use this exploration of the environment and atmosphere as an anchor of the story and guide through the process.
Coming home didn’t give me answers. It gave me clay, tools, space, and silence.
And in that silence, the work has begun to speak back.
If you’re also somewhere between chapters, without a clear map, you’re not alone. Sometimes the next step isn’t to decide, it’s simply to begin shaping what’s already in your hands and let it carry you forward.
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